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Monday, June 6, 2011

Character Flaw: Anxiety Attacking

I am not a worry wart. No really. I grew up with a worrier and, although at times I feel it creeping up on me, I avoid worry and all the stress it entails. Do I sound like I'm in denial?


Seriously, I have learned to go soundly to sleep even when my son is out and about. I can set aside my imaginary tragedies when my girls are spending the night somewhere. I have even been known to cast off the frustrations of my sweet hubby about his various jobs - well, sometimes!

I realized, though, that this is just training. The more I practice peace through the midst of daily days, the better I will live in peace when something really does happen. (But I'm not asking for an exam at this point, Lord!)

My goofy boy
I had a situation that put me to the test a couple of years ago. In the middle of hosting a scrap-booking retreat, I got a call from my sweet hubby. A Sunday morning call, during church hours when his plate was always totally full, alerted me that something was up.

My son was on a mission trip to Honduras, with a week there and a week to go. All my hubby had to say was "I got an email from the mission people" and I burst into tears. So much for training!


It ended up okay. (Isn't it always easier to look back on worry issues than to live through them?) Even though there had been a military coup, the kids had all gotten back safely, albeit early, but the whole event and the pins and needles that I sat on for 3 days waiting to hear from my boy were eye-opening and revealed a flaw in my character that I really thought I had under control. The truth slapped me up side the head; I am a worry wart! I don't practice it daily, but I don't prepare to avoid it as well as I should.

I don't look like a worry wart, but it's what goes on inside that truly reveals the character.  That is the place where I need to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and choose not to entertain even the imaginings of tragedy. Meanwhile, I work on the daily practice and pray for the safety and health of my kids and sweet hubby, then set them back in my Father's hands where they belong.

I don't pretend anymore that I'm not a worrier. That's a lack of faith that even the disciples experienced, but I will persevere with my training and put my hope in Him that whenever a peace-requiring situation does arise, I will have what I need to give Him honor through it.

Are you a closet worry wart, too?  Don't let me think I'm the only one!  What would you tell this worry wart?

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